Life in Retro

When I used to live in Georgia, I would occasionally stop by the Waffle House for a deliciously unhealthy meal, normally during the wee hours of the morning after an all-night visit to the local watering hole(s).   My regular southern-fried feast of choice would include hashbrowns, but not your typical boring shredded potatoes.  Nope.  These suckers would have to be ordered using a multitude of adjectives, verbs, or both.  Either way, I always used to enjoy proudly asking for mine scattered, smothered and covered.  I don't remember what any of that means exactly, it has been so long, but I certainly can tell you there was alot of cheese and grease involved, and of course, a lot of deliciousness (especially when eaten during those drunken visits).   I recall this all as I sit here, reflecting on the past week.  Like those potatoes, I too have felt scattered (indecisive and impulsive), smothered (in my past), and covered (like a heavy blanket is slowing me down). 

I have searched high and low for a good explanation for my feelings and behaviors during this recent period.  I mean, there just had to be a good reason for all of this, preferably one which takes the focus off of my decision-making skills.  Oh, yes.  Here's one:  Mercury retrograde. 

Now, for those who have never heard of this phenomenon, it is an astrological blip that occurs three times a year, for about three weeks or so each cycle, where the planet Mercury (the ruler of communication) appears to be moving backwards when examined closely with the proper equipment.  During these phases, life on this planet appears to be coming to a standstill.  Moving forward feels like pushing a boulder uphill.  Communication goes haywire, the past (and people from it) seem to take front and center, traffic snarls more than ever, energy levels get low, and electronics always seem to be hit the hardest.  Perhaps this helps explain why I have had such a horrible time with my internet service recently.  Or why making plans lately seems to be a pointless endeavor, with all of the last-minute changes and miscommunications that seem to be occurring.  Or especially why on March 30, the first day of this most recent blip, our coffee brewers blew up at work, resulting in a coffee shop that could serve no drip coffee for an entire morning rush. The line seemed to stretch out the door for miles, and when people finally reached the register, well, you can imagine their pre-caffeinated reactions.  Not good.  Everyone blamed it on the coffee brewers.  Me?  You know what I blamed it on. 

Since Mercury went retro, I can think of at least three encounters with people who I have not seen or heard from in ages.  One of them was a friend who loaned me a cd more than nine months ago, which I found when I finally finished cleaning my apartment last week (another good thing to do during this period:  clean up your mess).  And then there was another strange misfire when I received a paystub in the mail from the catering company I have been doing some part-time work for.  All well and good, right?  Sure, only I never actually worked the event I got paid for!  I didn't say all of Mercury's surprises were bad ones, though I was honest and ended up working off the $50 advance at an event this past weekend anyway. 

But the grandaddy of them all involved my federal tax return.  I kept trying to submit it online, and to my horror, it kept getting rejected by the IRS because my birthday didn't match their records.  Hmm.  Lo and behold, during my cleaning frenzy I also located my most recent social security statement.  And there it was, in bold print.  They listed my birthday as March 18, 1972.  Too bad I was born in 1973.  It took thirty-eight years to uncover that snafu.  How could they have made such an error way back when?  A look at my astrological chart reveals that I was born during a Mercury retro period.  Surprised?  I'm not.

Whether anyone believes in this stuff is irrelevant.  I guess the real point is that there are so many ways we can choose to view our walk through life.  Nobody can say for sure all of the factors that contribute to our day-to-day experiences.   Why not consider them all, if only for fun?  Personally, I have always been fascinated by the most unexplainable, intangible workings of the universe.  I especially love anything that forces me to examine my own behaviors, and better yet, the behaviors of the world at large.  To my mind, this whole Mercury thing is simply another potential contributor to the complex dance of life.  And if everything is subject to examination, don't even get me started about the full moon.... 

Whatever the galactic goings-on, I have to own all of my choices, because I am ultimately responsible for my happiness.  And though it can be fun to go back in time for a quick visit, old choices are not necessarily wise ones if you have actually learned from them.  Any revelations this time around?  Well, probably just that nothing from my past seems to work anymore.  I mean, the way I used to deal with things just doesn't seem to apply to who I am now.  And that has to be a good thing.  Time to throw away the old manuals and start again.   My old bag of tricks has lost its magic.  Seems more appropriate to clean the slate, and align more closely with whoever I am at this moment.  Maybe start working on some new manuals (after Mercury goes back direct, of course).

As for being forced to slow down, that also must be considered a blessing of sorts.  It is always nice to take a breather, to reload and prepare for the next round of living at breakneck speed.  There always seems to be so many loose ends hanging around.  Life is just that way.  And no matter what the reasons really are, I am always grateful for the chance to play catch-up. 

Mmm.  I miss those hashbrowns at the Waffle House.  Until tonight, I hadn't considered them in years.  Sometimes it is nice to reflect on the past.  Thank you, Mercury.