Enjoying the Silence
I can't speak. Literally. Congestion has rendered me mute.
Cue the mental applause, friends and loved ones. I know it is probably a nice break for all of us.
It has been a fascinating afternoon with no voice. I have run errands, and been forced to just smile instead of delivering my normally courteous "thank you" or "excuse me" wherever necessary. No matter where I have gone, a hideous, nearly inaudible croaking sound would escape from my mouth whenever I attempted to speak. Uh-oh. Time to whisper instead. And no matter who was the recipient of my feeble attempt at commuication, all of my efforts were met with a softness. Almost as if they were grateful that I was even trying. Besides, how much grumbling and complaining had the grocery store clerk already heard today before I got in line? At least he wouldn't have to listen to me. Ah, sweet victory.
I have had a few run-ins with laryngitis over the years. I remember the very first occurrence, way back when I was living in Atlanta seven years ago. I was working at Starbucks and was handing off drinks in almost complete silence, when a regular customer with whom I had a friendly rapport observed that I could not talk back when she addressed me. I smiled and pointed quizzically to my throat. OK, she got it. Then she proceeded to ask me something startling.
"What do you really need to say, Paul?" she asked.
Huh? My mind began to race. What did I need to say at that moment? Where in my life had my voice been shut down? Taken in this context, the answer turned out to be fairly obvious. I was preparing to leave Atlanta for a big move west to California, and was struggling with saying goodbye to certain people. I feared that I would not be able to 'say my peace', thus rendering me without the avenue most comfortable for me to express my innermost feelings. There you go. Step by step, the rest was even simpler to diagnose. The emotional body was not at ease and was being stifled, dis-ease (in the form of congestion) set in my physical body, resulting in the disapperance of my ability to articulate what was brewing right there under the surface. No voice. Case closed. I can recall being very frustrated when I put all of that together, but that was just the start of a more insightful look at my bodies (mental, physical and emotional). Maybe those systems really were interwined after all? Bingo! There was no way to ignore it any longer. It just made too much sense.
Now, every time I have lost my voice it normally only lasts one day. But that single day of silent reflection always provides me a closer examination of the way I use my power to speak in the world. Am I choosing my words carefully and with love? Could it be that I am saying too much? Maybe it is the flipside, demonstrated so many years ago in Atlanta, where I was somehow unable to express what really needed to be said? Are my words aligned with my true intentions? This time around, does it even matter what the reason is? Perhaps I should just be grateful that I can even speak at all, right?
I have often said that we talk too much as a society. I have used myself as a guinea pig for this theory at different times, determined to pay exquisite attention to what I say on a daily basis. Predictably, the results are always mixed. I would notice many instances where I chose my words carefully and with loving intent. Conversely, I would be amused and even disgusted at just how inane, flimsy and utterly ridiculous so much of what I say tends to be. Verbal diahrrea, if you will. And I could be unloving and hurtful to others before my censor kicked in. All in the name of what, exactly? Entertainment? Shock value? Attention-seeking? Power-stealing? Holy cow, Paul, just shutup already! Without fail, I walk away from being under my own private microscope with the same conclusion:
We I talk too much. There, I said it.
And so, I will enjoy the silence with a smile. Maybe in the future I will even choose to do that, instead of speaking, when the moment arises. The option is always there. Turns out it can be alot easier to listen and know what is called for in any situation when I just keep my mouth shut.
Cue the mental applause, friends and loved ones. I know it is probably a nice break for all of us.
It has been a fascinating afternoon with no voice. I have run errands, and been forced to just smile instead of delivering my normally courteous "thank you" or "excuse me" wherever necessary. No matter where I have gone, a hideous, nearly inaudible croaking sound would escape from my mouth whenever I attempted to speak. Uh-oh. Time to whisper instead. And no matter who was the recipient of my feeble attempt at commuication, all of my efforts were met with a softness. Almost as if they were grateful that I was even trying. Besides, how much grumbling and complaining had the grocery store clerk already heard today before I got in line? At least he wouldn't have to listen to me. Ah, sweet victory.
I have had a few run-ins with laryngitis over the years. I remember the very first occurrence, way back when I was living in Atlanta seven years ago. I was working at Starbucks and was handing off drinks in almost complete silence, when a regular customer with whom I had a friendly rapport observed that I could not talk back when she addressed me. I smiled and pointed quizzically to my throat. OK, she got it. Then she proceeded to ask me something startling.
"What do you really need to say, Paul?" she asked.
Huh? My mind began to race. What did I need to say at that moment? Where in my life had my voice been shut down? Taken in this context, the answer turned out to be fairly obvious. I was preparing to leave Atlanta for a big move west to California, and was struggling with saying goodbye to certain people. I feared that I would not be able to 'say my peace', thus rendering me without the avenue most comfortable for me to express my innermost feelings. There you go. Step by step, the rest was even simpler to diagnose. The emotional body was not at ease and was being stifled, dis-ease (in the form of congestion) set in my physical body, resulting in the disapperance of my ability to articulate what was brewing right there under the surface. No voice. Case closed. I can recall being very frustrated when I put all of that together, but that was just the start of a more insightful look at my bodies (mental, physical and emotional). Maybe those systems really were interwined after all? Bingo! There was no way to ignore it any longer. It just made too much sense.
Now, every time I have lost my voice it normally only lasts one day. But that single day of silent reflection always provides me a closer examination of the way I use my power to speak in the world. Am I choosing my words carefully and with love? Could it be that I am saying too much? Maybe it is the flipside, demonstrated so many years ago in Atlanta, where I was somehow unable to express what really needed to be said? Are my words aligned with my true intentions? This time around, does it even matter what the reason is? Perhaps I should just be grateful that I can even speak at all, right?
I have often said that we talk too much as a society. I have used myself as a guinea pig for this theory at different times, determined to pay exquisite attention to what I say on a daily basis. Predictably, the results are always mixed. I would notice many instances where I chose my words carefully and with loving intent. Conversely, I would be amused and even disgusted at just how inane, flimsy and utterly ridiculous so much of what I say tends to be. Verbal diahrrea, if you will. And I could be unloving and hurtful to others before my censor kicked in. All in the name of what, exactly? Entertainment? Shock value? Attention-seeking? Power-stealing? Holy cow, Paul, just shutup already! Without fail, I walk away from being under my own private microscope with the same conclusion:
And so, I will enjoy the silence with a smile. Maybe in the future I will even choose to do that, instead of speaking, when the moment arises. The option is always there. Turns out it can be alot easier to listen and know what is called for in any situation when I just keep my mouth shut.
Comments
What a great post revealing your awareness of the 5th chakra and how it affects the mind, body and spirit!
Love you!
xoxoxoxo