Life Unraveled

Sometimes I wish we could all hear exactly how we sound to each other. I thought this as I was leaving a crowded shopping center the other day, when the walk to retrieve my bicycle became an unwanted front-row seat for an epic shouting match between a man and woman sitting on a bench nearby. It started softly, with my ears barely registering a "d id he just call her that ?" moment, and quickly ramped up to a full-on verbal assault that could not be ignored. My stomach dropped through the floor as the man hurtled one obscenity after another at this woman, each one more startling than the one before (and most definitely nothing I want to repeat here). By the time I realized that something had to be done to stop this, which was probably only about twenty seconds and a truckload of vulgarity later, the security folks were on the scene to break it up. Call it what you will. Lovers quarrel. Holiday stress. Inappropriate behavior to the max. Whatever. The whole scene l...

Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Douglas, and welcome to my home on the Christmas tree farm! Yes, it's that time of year again, when crowds of people walk the aisles here in search of that perfect holiday masterpiece.  This season is the reason for my existence, actually. I'm not sure how many holiday seasons I have lived through, but there have been many. I guess if I could see the rings in my own trunk it might be something like ten years, even though it feels much longer. Ever since I was a young fir, I have dreamed of hitting the big time. I have witnessed so many of my family members achieving greatness, dragged away one by one, bound by ropes and tied snugly to the roofs of various automobiles. It might sound barbaric to you, but to us it signifies something wonderful.  You see, on this farm we are all raised with the same dream. We all aspire to be in your home at Christmastime . We all want to be decked out in gaudy tinsel an...

I'm never sure what to say when people ask me if I am ready for Christmas.  I guess I'm not even sure what kind of question that really is.  What do I have to get ready for ?  Am I supposed to be stressed out or something?  I don't get it.  So I normally reply with one simple word:  Sure.   Saves alot of explanation for me.  It has been a long time since I've felt the enormous weight of the holidays on my shoulders.  I used to go into a state of perpetual panic with regards to gifts.  I had my list every year, and would methodically go about buying everything on it, hoping that everyone would be happy with whatever doo-dad and doo-hickey I could find for them.  Then one year, while staring blankly at my page-long obligatory shopping list, I just knew I was done.  Done with the worrying, done with the crowds, and done with the gifts.  None of it made sense to me anymore.  It's not that I didn't love my fami...